Concord Family Counseling Offers Advice on Increasing Patience as A Parent

August 19 13:09 2020
Concord Family Counseling Offers Advice on Increasing Patience as A Parent

Franklin, TN Being with your kids almost 24/7 since March and the onset of the school year eventually will take its toll on your patience. You might be noticing that your fuse is shorter than it usually is. Franklin-based family counselor, Lydia Phillips of Concord Family Counseling, has some helpful tips on how to increase your patience as a parent.

Become more aware of your own physiological signals and triggers. 

When you get angry or impatient, what happens? Do your muscles get tense? Does your face get flushed? Do you get a lump in your throat? These are all signals that you are on the brink of losing your cool. Think about the situations that trigger these reactions; it might be the way your daughter talks back when reprimanded or when your son ignores your request (for the umpteenth time) that he put his laundry away. Bring awareness to these moments and how you react to them. There are possibly belief systems or your own childhood problems that might hold you back from loving your child in that difficult moment. Get in touch with Lydia Phillips, who is a teen counselor at Franklin’s Concord Family Counseling for a series of counseling sessions to help you discover how to become more aware as a parent.  

Take stock of the situation. 

The more you become aware of what triggers your anger, the better you can equip yourself to overcome these unhealthy conflict cycles. When it comes to parents and children, there are no clear winners when a power struggle ensues.  As an adult, it is your responsibility to be the bigger person and guide your child through conflict. Go on a walk or head to your room so you can think more clearly. Do whatever works for you to get more grounded until you’re ready to reapproach. 

Look for the message behind the behavior. 

Let’s say, for example, that your kids have to do their homework every day. They do it, but consistently have a meltdown at some point. You scold them for their behavior but this only triggers an even bigger meltdown. But you can’t let them off that easily because you would have “lost” as a parent, right?

Do a bit of sleuthing to find out the reasons behind the behavior. Are your children having a meltdown around the same time each day? They might be tired or hungry. Is the meltdown happening during the same school subject? They might be trying to tell you that it’s hard to understand and they need help. Your children might be sending the message that they are feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, alone, and want to be comforted. If you are raising teenagers, you might be thinking that they should be able to tell you what they need. However, they may not have the self-awareness and emotional literacy to express their thoughts in a healthy way. Many adults aren’t very articulate with their feelings either, so take away the “should” and be present for what “is”. Franklin teen counselor, Lydia Phillips of Concord Family Counseling can help you with discovering the underlying motivations and causes for your child’s behaviors. 

Remind yourself WHY you want to increase your patience. 

Ask yourself: What are your greatest hopes and dreams when it comes to your relationship with your children? You might have lost sight of why you love them during conflict, power struggles, or disconnection. Remind yourself about the characteristics that you love about them and tell them. 

Self-reflection can be an effective way to increase your patience. Take a closer look at your parenting style – is it working? Is it working for all of your children? Is it working for all of your children at every moment? Increasing your patience allows you to make conscious parenting decisions instead of acting out of impulse. 

In the event that you do lose your patience and act out of anger, own up to your behavior with your children. This builds trust and respect for you and sets a good example. This might seem contradictory, but it’s important to give yourself grace as well. You might not be the best parent you can be during this difficult season of life, and that’s okay. Doing the best you can is enough. 

Located in Franklin, Tennessee, Lydia Phillips, family and teen counselor at Concord Family Counseling is available on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays from 10am to 8pm, and on Wednesdays from 3pm to 8pm. Visit the Concord Family Counseling website for more information, call (615) 988-0451 or email [email protected]

Media Contact
Company Name: Concord Family Counseling
Contact Person: Lydia Phillips
Email: Send Email
Phone: 615-988-0451
Address:301 Mallory Station Rd, Suite 110
City: Franklin
State: TN
Country: United States